we have pet lesbian snakes
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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