I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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