How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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I understand Curling. That high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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