Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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