He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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