VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize