that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My feet surprised me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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