It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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