Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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