Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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