i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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