I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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