I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize