His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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