he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize