and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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