I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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