Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize