Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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