he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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