I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
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i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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