Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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