I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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