Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
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Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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