I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize