Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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