I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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