You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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