i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize