First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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