i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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