That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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