Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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