how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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