You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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