if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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