so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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