I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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