No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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