college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize