It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize