no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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