My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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