Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
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