my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize