3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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