you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize