This is not my ceiling
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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