I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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