You're completely useless in the revolution.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize